is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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