ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
