My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
