Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
