I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
