I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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