Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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