so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
