Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick

(714): View more from California

Ive only called 5 times

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(847): View more from Illinois

Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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(301): View more from Maryland

Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"

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(419): View more from Ohio

He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't

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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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(320): View more from Minnesota

An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk

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(252): View more from North Carolina

doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.

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