You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
