party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
