I seem to have left my pride at pride
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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