She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
