I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
