That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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