I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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