Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
