Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
