Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
