Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
