fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
