Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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