her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
