is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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