hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
