So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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