why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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