We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
