Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize