you would pick up someone in the library
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
