maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
