So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
