i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
