Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
