the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize