her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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