It's Friday. Sex?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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