I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
