Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
