idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize