she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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