I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
