i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
