On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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