I am puke
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
