you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
