I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
