is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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