Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize