I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize