I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
