omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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