You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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