you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
