Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it was like eating out sand paper
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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