That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
