Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
