were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
