i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize