Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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