I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
