it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Holy sore nipples Batman
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
