they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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