Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
