I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
