12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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