hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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