We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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