There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
