Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
