Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
