I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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