Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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