It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
