So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
