Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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