Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
