I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
