Don't make out with my wife yet
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
