I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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