She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
