Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
